From dphillip@mail.usyd.edu.au Tue Jun 10 14:30:08 1997
Date: Thu, 22 May 1997 10:56:03 +1000 (EST)
Subject: Thermodynamics of hell (fwd)

> 
> A retiring Physical Chemistry professor was setting his last exam, for a
> graduate course in Statistical Thermodynamics. Being a bit bored with it
> all, and with a well kept and wry sense of humour, he set a single question
> on the sheet :
> 
> Is Hell endothermic or exothermic ?
> Support your answer with proof.
> 
> He had little idea what to expect, or how to grade the results, but decided
> to reward any student who was able to come up with a reasonable and
> consistent reply to his query. One A was awarded.
> 
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some
> variant. The top student however wrote the following :
> 
> First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If
> they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are
> souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving ?
> 
> I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets into hell, it will
> not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
> 
> As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist
> in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a
> member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one
> of the religions and people do no belong to more than one religion, we can
> project that all people and all souls go to hell.
> 
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
> hell to increase exponentially.
> 
> Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states
> that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the
> ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. There are two
> possible conditions.
> 
> One, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase
> exponentially until all hell breaks loose.
> 
> Conversely, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
> in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes
> over, condition two.
> 
> We can solve this with the 1990 postulation of Theresa LeClair, the girl who
> lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have still
> not been successful in obtaining sexual relations with her, condition two
> above has not been met, and thus it can be concluded that condition one is
> true, and hell is exothermic.
> 

*dave
________________________________________________________________________
  (         email: dphillip@mail.usyd.edu.au                  *   dave |
  ))    www links: www-personal.usyd.edu.au/~dphillip/        phillips |
C|~~|  coursework: www.cs.su.oz.au/~davep                              |
 `--'__________________________________________________________________|
  "If there is a gap in history that fits the size and shape of the   /
  resurrection, then how is the secular historian going to fill the  /
  gap, because SOMETHING has to.  " - Chris Forbes                  /
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